When I had my measles/random rash scare, I mentioned that my GP doctor is a MDVIP doctor. This basically means that I pay a bunch of money to be treated like I’m his only patient, to get same-day appointments, and to feel like he remembers me when he sees me. It’s actually pretty great. I thought I’d give it a go when I read his positive patient reviews, as a physician, and the reviews of the MDVIP program, in general. I’d definitely continue with this type of doctor, as we move from the area. However, a sticky wicket as come up with my personal provider.
He’s a nice man, but he’s definitely a bit…conservative. He’s not conservative in treatment, although he is that, a bit, but it’s his political views that are the real problem. He tends to find a way to bring them up, at almost every appointment. Since even a quick pre-op clearance appointment can take upwards of ninety minutes, he has plenty of time to let his rebel flag fly. He always manages to slip it into conversation as if we are commiserating on the ways of the world like old buddies who have had this chat before, or who obviously agree that both what he has just said is true, and also that we also both agree that pineapple on pizza is disgusting. I think that because he knows Bryon and I are both military, he assumes that we simply must be of the same persuasion, as he opens all of our non-medical conversations with, “how’s the colonel?” (p.s. ugh and eye roll). You’d be surprised how many military folks are both liberal and atheists, by the way. Next time the chaplain does the “mandatory” prayer at an event, take a gander around at the non-head-bowers and share the head nod with the other non-prayers in the crowd, you’ll see.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he’s so thorough, as a doctor, even though I have to clear half a day just to see him for a sore throat; but, I could live without him having the time to end up in a lecture about the potential danger of “illegals” killing us all at numbers we haven’t seen since the middle ages, thanks to unchecked entry with diseases like the Bubonic Plague. “Just you wait and see!” At least, that’s what the lecture was about this most recent time that I saw him. I’ve had lectures about everything from illegals, to voting, to speaking only English, and whatever other issue had Trump fired up that week.
These are always very awkward conversations, and they set my liberal, bleeding heart, a-flutter. I never know how to respond. Do I tell him that I disagree, and risk my doctor disliking me? Do I find a new doctor? Do I nod in silence and let him think I agree? Saying nothing makes me feel like I need a shower. It’s so confusing. There’s no one at the office to complain to, as his wife is his nurse, and the administrator is their dear friend. That’s it. That’s the staff. There’s no anonymity. When I call to make an appointment, they don’t just know me, they know me. This would generally be a great thing, but for something like this, it’s bad. How do you lodge a complaint about a doctor having somewhat inappropriate conversations with his patients, with the staff, when the staff is his family?
Picture an oldish man. He looks a little like Santa, minus the beard, and a little more jowl-y instead of jolly. He’s a smidge imposing, and he’s got the upper hand in any interaction between us. He’s the one in control of my treatment and care, despite the fact that I’m the one who is supposed to feel in control, as the patient. The dynamic invariably shifts to the one with the most knowledge, and how he feels he will mete it out, in order to allow me to make decisions and draw conclusions. If he feels like I’m not capable of deciding the way of the world, perhaps he feels I won’t understand certain treatment options, or why he will make certain calls regarding my care. Perhaps, he won’t fully explain other options I might have considered, therefore not offering them to me as viable choices.
So, these conversations feel more threatening than they should be. This seems like a simple problem. I should just find a new doctor. Or, I should just live with this, and accept the imperfections of an imperfect man. However, neither solution is ideal. Finding a decent general practitioner who takes extended time with my complex conditions, and who has extensive relationships with referring local doctors is difficult. But, accepting, and furthermore, knowing I’m lining the pockets of someone whose views I find abhorrent, is also difficult for me, on a moral level. Ugh.
At our last appointment, I needed a Tdap booster, apparently. I mentioned the case of the child in Oregon, who contracted tetanus recently, to the tune of nearly a million dollars in related medical costs, and whose parents still refused the vaccine, despite seeing how ill their kid was. This brought up the aforementioned rant about how “illegals” are bringing in all kinds of diseases, and how the liberal media won’t tell you that they are going to kill us all. He told me that it’s black and white: one side wants more voters and the other side (I assume he meant the “illegals”) wants to come and work for free and get free benefits. I say that assume there, because what “side?” wants that?
I didn’t bother to tell him that what he said made no sense for his argument against immigration, because he described two sides of the same racist coin, in his hurry to slur the facts. But, that was neither here nor there. He’s so brainwashed by Fox that I just murmured that I didn’t think it was that simple. That’s all I could get out in defense of helpless humans being belittled in a doctor’s office hundreds of miles away, grouped into swaths of humanity that don’t even register as individuals anymore.
There was so much I could’ve said, so many points to bring up. Children being abused in detention facilities, deaths, rapes, families being separated. There are so many successful immigrants that I know, dreamers that have succeeded. There are so many reasons to love immigration and to support the idea that people should come here and have a chance. The dream of America is built on it. But, I didn’t say any of what I believe. And, mostly what I believe is that kindness and human decency should always trump anything else, and that we are treating our fellow man like they are subhuman, which is disgusting and makes me feel sick at night. We’re not only being un-American, we are being bad humans by doing so.
One might say that it doesn’t matter who your doctor is as a person, so long as he’s a good doctor. That may well be true. He could be a terrible man, but still be a great doctor. However, when that terrible man brings his terribleness to the job, and forces me to look at it, I have to assess how important that is to how he treats me, as a patient. If he’d left that part of him, at the door, before he came into the exam room, then I wouldn’t be forced to evaluate it as part of his medical persona. But, because he brings it into the room with him, every time we have an interaction, I have to ask myself how kind of a man he is, how sympathetic, how gentle, and how understanding. I have to ask myself if he’s the right doctor for me, overall.
Worst of all, when faced directly with this attitude by a man who looks a little like a kindly grandpa, and who is in a position of power, I did nothing. I said nothing. And, I’m ashamed. I’ve started looking at how I can transition to a provider in the same system that maintains all the same records, but is still part of the same provider network. My current doctor is less than a mile from my house, and any new one would be at least a fifteen to twenty-minute drive, but I suppose that’s the price I pay for a cleaner conscience, and for a doctor who can be more professional. I’m hoping it’s a possibility. Starting over with a new doctor is never fun, but in this case, I think it’s important that I at least try. At least I’ll know that I’m not supporting his practice any longer, anyway.
The Only Thing Necessary for the Triumph of Evil is that Good Men Do Nothing