Every medication you take has a laundry list of side effects. For example, Quibilox (totally made up, but Pfeizer, should contact me to name drugs, no?) may cause impotence, shortness of breath, gambling addiction and a pine tree to grow out of your forehead. I’ve learned that you have to read that little pamphlet.
However, I’m an admitted hypochondriac. I can’t read the pamphlet thingie until after I’ve taken the medication and I feel funky. Otherwise, I invariably do feel like that forehead zit most certainly is turning into a pine tree; furthermore, I’m willing to bet on it.
After brain surgery, they give you more medication than I thought a human body could safely process. Now, when I hear of people dying of a drug overdose I’m wildly impressed. I was taking something like 50 pills of various types and kinds, per day, post-op. My body was able to flush all the toxic crap out, and keep trucking, because the body is designed to do just that.
Anyway, when you are taking a lot of medications, the side effect from drug A might counter-effect the side effect from drug B, and so on. Or, the side effect from A might exacerbate the effect from B, and so on. I’ve had plenty of side-effects from drugs A, B, C, D, and so on, all the way to Z.
Poop is always gross and fun to hear about, especially when the embarrassing story isn’t about you; but I thought I’d share something else today. Not that I don’t have plenty of gross poop stories saved up to regale you with, in the future. Trust me, side-effects involving the gastrointestinal system abound.
Many drugs come with a “night-sweats” warning. Additionally, the part of my brain that was compressed controls my internal body temperature; so, I was (and continue to be) always either too hot, or too cold. So, I would wake up shivering, or literally drenched in sweat.
The other night, for example, I woke up, in my normal pajamas, and my pajamas were so soaked, completely through, that it looked like I’d taken a shower. They were so wet that they were translucent. I’m not sure how much more disgusting you can get than that.
But wait, there’s more! Right after surgery is when it was the worst. We had to change the sheets all the time because I’d leave a sweat pool where I was sleeping. It was a little Rachel-shaped ring because I was still too stiff to move much, so I’d just have to lay in my pool of disgusting sweat until morning.
Sweat, sweat, everywhere! But, because I was so cold when I went to bed, I had to sleep in clothes. I’d try to go back to sleep naked, but would still wake up covered in sweat so slick that my hair would slime the pillowcases. I felt like a hairy snail in a neck brace.
Today, I still get the night sweats, but not nearly as bad, and not nearly as often. It doesn’t help that sleeping next to my husband is the equivalent of sleeping next to a human space heater; but, we make do. I normally wear my headache hat (an ice headband) to bed, so It's especially weird to wake up drenched, because as the hat cools, the condensation mixes with my sweat, but it's cold, so it literally freezes the sweat. So, sometimes I wake up with frozen bits of hair stuck to my face. Gross, right? These are the things you don't normally think of!